139 – For my Friend

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Herbert It’s Only (Dj Koze Mix)
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Chris Malinchak – So Good To Me
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I know what it’s like to feel your bones are being crushed inside of a giant fist– turning them to chalk and rubbing them together till all that’s left is powder. It’s the scratching in your ears and the blood in your stomach- you want to gather yourself and go away. Get out of here. Start new. Because you didn’t think it was possible for this pain to come…not in this way at least. And all of the heaviness, you just want it gone.

We protect ourselves. We have to. But sometimes I wonder if we spend too much time guarding our walls. It’s like we’re all wandering around bumping into each other’s force fields rather than letting each other in. Maybe it’s too late for some of that now. But it’s never too late to try again. You were able to see through my walls and you truly helped me through a rough time. I know you’re going to be just fine but my heart definitely feels heavy for you.

I just want you to know that I’m here, and like you helped me, I’m going to help you. You taught me a lot about myself and I feel different. I even think differently about things now. I’m more self-aware. I haven’t mastered it just yet- but I know I’m sooo much better than I was. I want you to be really happy and I know you have a good grip on reality, but…we are dreamers!

You don’t always have to be so tough. I know you’re strong. It feels good to be vulnerable sometimes and to say what you really feel inside- be a freak! Although I think you have the “freak” part mastered. It’s awesome to watch you grow into your gifts and talents. Don’t hide yourself anymore. You’re too awesome. Life is too short.  We’re having fun and we can do what we want! Fuck it. No rules of the world or preset patterns or customs or religions or any of the philosophies or ideals of anyone else can hold you back. Take the good knowledge and the stuff that makes sense and go. Everything is going to be okay.

I love you!

Happy Titty Tuesday xx

“My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry, to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.”
Maya Angelou

“Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.”
Joseph Addison